Ever have one of those days where you just feel defeated? Yeah, me too!
Actually, I had one of those days this past weekend. I was in the midst of a defeated day. Feeling fat. Feeling like an awful wife. Feeling like I’ve failed my son. Feeling like a terrible daughter. Feeling fat…oh, did I already mention that. I was overwhelmed. I was tired.
Many years ago I would have spent a lot longer in my defeated state. It would turn into depression and self-doubt. It would become my reality. I would believe every bit of the negative thoughts rushing through me. A defeated day would define my life.
I realize that some people feel this way all the time. Or at least more often than not. I feel blessed that I now have a day of defeat every so often… instead of more often than not.
I am more in tune now. Taking note of how I feel in the present moment. God meets me right where I am… in this moment. He puts on my heart the desire to communicate. So, I write. Then, it meets you right where you are. Finally, we can heal together… in this moment.
During my day of defeat I try not to own my negative self-talk. I try to remind myself that these feelings aren’t from God. He wouldn’t want me to feel this way, this badly, about myself.
Actually, I do try to find morsels of truth in the negativity… in my defeated state of mind. This is a time for self-analyzing and change. Dwelling in defeat is a waste of a day… unless you can search for truth, grow, and then get on with your life… even better than you were before.
The truth in my negativity reflected some changes that I needed to make… immediately. So, I am going to exercise more. I am going to make more time for my husband. I am going to encourage a new plan for my son’s personal growth. I am going to call my mom to tell her I love her. I am going to stop eating my emotions. I am going to take it one day at a time. I am going to take a nap. I am going to eat a cookie… okay, so I might continue to eat my emotions… baby steps, my friends.
If I don’t pull myself out of this defeated state of mind… nobody else will. I gave myself one day… only one day to get over myself. And, then… I defeated my defeated state of mind.