Welcome to Confession Wednesday! I believe that sometimes admitting our behaviors is the first step in correcting them…or laughing at them…either way…here’s what I am confessing to this week:
My son and I were driving around town to do some errands. I offered to stop to get us both a cup of iced coffee. My boy loves coffee… decaf of course. Well, I’ll have you know that I had already had my morning cup of coffee and usually if I have two cups it’s like giving me an enema. I didn’t think about that at the time… and so the story unfolds.
We are getting our errands done. We had one more stop… the grocery store. By the time we pulled into the parking lot I knew I wasn’t going to make it home. That second cup of coffee was doing its thing on my digestive track.
Anyways, we arrived at the grocery store. We grabbed a grocery cart. We did the walk of shame to the back of the store for the restroom. I didn’t have a choice… I had to go!
Now, let me stop here for one brief moment to say that I, my friends, am a home pooper. That’s right. I do not like to go other places. I prefer the comforts of my own home… like those wonderful flushable wipes.
There are only two single roomed bathrooms at this grocery store. The men’s was closed down for “repair”. So, my son and I both went into the women’s together. He did his thing quickly. Then, I asked him to stand in the corner with his back to me.
I still wasn’t sure I could do it. I was still apprehensive about going in public. As soon as I sat down though… there was no stopping it. Dear Lord! It was like a colon cleanse. And, since my son was in the there with me… in the corner… I decided to do a courtesy flush to get rid of my lower intestine that I was sure just fell out of my body.
That’s when it happened… one of my worst fears about pooping in public. The toilet was backing up. The coffee enema, the colon cleanse, my lower intestine just sat there rising up to the rim of the toilet bowl. Then it stopped. The fact that the men’s restroom was closed for “repair” should have been an indicator that trouble was ahead.
I’m trying to explain to my son what was happening as he was speaking into the wall because I still forbad him to turn around for privacy sake.
I was in a panic mode. What do I do?! Wash my hands and just leave it? Tell one of the clerks and admit that I clogged the toilet? Run out of the store crying? My corner friend and I were talking about all of this. Usually I try to find the lesson in all of life’s circumstances and situations. Usually I try to be the person I want my son to become. Usually I try to be the change I wish to see in the world. None of that seemed to matter as I stared at my floating and rising issue.
Then my son did the noblest thing that I think he has ever done for me. He said, “Mom, I’ll go find someone and tell them that the toilet is clogged.” It is like he was my knight in shining armor… my hero! He saved the day! He was so brave marching up to the clerk to tell her.
My cart and I dove off into the first isle next to the restroom. This was, again, a mistake because I could hear the clerk enter the restroom and gasp for air. That poor lady… she doesn’t make enough money to deal with that crap!
At first, I felt ashamed that I allowed my son to take the fall for me… but he wanted to, right? He needed to do that for me, right? I’m pretty sure the answer is yes to both of those questions because as he walked away from the clerk he had a look of pride in his eyes... he knew he saved the day! And, as he later recounted the story with his dad… he said, “I saved Mommy today!”
So, here’s my confession for this Wednesday…
My son is my hero! And, I am a confirmed home pooper!