I wait in patient anticipation to see where God will lead me. I can say with certainty that God has me in this waiting place to grow me, stretch me, and test me. Just when I think I have reached maturity in my walk with Christ… there is another level to ascend on the ladder. Below you will read about the rungs of the ladder I am currently climbing.
1. To just BE in this present moment; knowing fully that this is just a temporary season. I tend to not lean into situations that are temporary. As if I don’t want to invest too much of myself because I know soon the situation will change. But I am learning to fully BE in this present season of my life. This time is a gift to me… a gift to figure things out, to find my place, and to create a new me. I am loving every minute of this season and I am beyond grateful for this time. Soon enough this season will end and I will be back into a career, on track with my life’s purpose, and living out God’s will. For now, I am here in THIS place and I am going to BE in this present moment… giving myself fully to this moment. I surrender to the now.
2. To enjoy the joy and peace that I am feeling without apprehension that something bad is lurking around the corner. My automatic response is that if things are going good in my life, then there must be something bad on its way to steal my good away. Perhaps I have been conditioned by life’s lies and trickery to believe this to be true. With this knee-jerk response, I don’t allow myself to fully enjoy the good. I almost sabotage my own joy. It is as if I am scared to feel this good. I am learning to soak it all in, allow it all to wash over me, and savor the beauty of joy and peace. Sometimes the joy and peace is so overwhelming that it brings me to tears. I remind myself that I am worthy of this good that has been bestowed upon my life and accept it into my life with an open heart. God’s blessings are welcome here.
3. To approach each fresh new day without expectations. When I was teaching, every second of my day was planned. I could tell you what I would be doing at exactly 9:38 AM. I had expectations of how my day would unfold. In my new season, I have a to-do list, but, for the most part, it is fluid and just mere suggestions for what the day will hold. If something doesn’t get done, then it goes on tomorrow’s to-do list. Without the urgency of having every second of my day planned, I can freely enjoy the blessings of each day on my own time schedule. For someone who is a “checker-offer”, this concept is a HUGE lesson. I have prided myself in all that I can get done during the day… checking things off on my to-do list gave me a sense of accomplishment. Now my sense of accomplishment comes from things that you cannot check off of a to-do list.
4. To trust and have full faith that my personal journey is unfolding as it should and it will continue to unfold in God’s perfect timing. Period.
5. To give something of significance to the world by being a blessing. I have gifts to offer the world. And those gifts need to be given to the world; whether I am getting paid to share those gifts or not. So, I have looked for ways to volunteer my time and offer something of significance to the world as I wait for God’s plan to unfold in my life. My family became a host family for the school year to a high school student from Sweden. I started volunteering as a yoga teacher and mentor at the House of Hope. We are blessed to be blessing.
6. To understand that sometimes we get stuck and we don’t know which way to go on the path so we freeze… it is okay to freeze. God will give me clues and bread crumbs and dangling carrots when the time is right. I want to always be moving forward and going in the direction of success and growth, but it is okay to just BE frozen… to just BE still… to just BE in this moment.
7. To not care if others understand my journey. I share my personal journey and my story with the world because I believe than in sharing we inspire one another and we, essentially, change the world. But, I do not care if others understand my journey; it is not theirs to understand. It has taken me a lifetime to reach a point where I no longer people please. When I felt lead to leave the yoga studio where I thought I was meant to be, it took me two weeks to listen to that direction because I didn’t want to let people down. I was worried others wouldn’t understand my journey. I had to decide what was more important… pleasing others or following my personal journey. I knew I had to trudge ahead, listening to what my heart was telling me regardless if others would understand or not. This is my personal journey and it’s kind of personal between me and God.