Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Humble Servant

I am not great. I am not meant for greatness. I am but a humble servant of God. Flawed, imperfect, sinful servant of God… less of me and more of Him. God is great and I am a vessel for His greatness and for His glory. Through me, others can see God’s Love. Through me, others can see God’s Light. I am not great. I am not meant for greatness. I am simply a humble servant of God’s Light and Love.

God, be great through me.

Monday, May 4, 2015

One, two step… the trail of life and I dance together

As I ascend to the top of the mountain, I focus on each step that is before me. I am in this moment of careful placement of each foot step. When I look at how far I have yet to go to the top, I become overwhelmed and doubt my ability to get there. When I focus on each step, one by one, I have confidence that I will make it. In the moment of my steps, I am in tune with the trail. I step long over this rock, I step short over that hole, I step sideways around that boulder, I step carefully through the rubble… I place my steps one calculated move at a time. The trail and I dance together… one, two step.

Today, I choose to re-focus back to the immediate trail before me… this moment of trail.  Perhaps tomorrow my focus will be taken away from mine and the trails steps and I will begin to stumble… I will misplace my steps… we will trip over one another’s placement.

One, two step.

There are several forks in the road along this trail. Which way do I choose to go? The trail less traveled is rocky. The trail most chosen is worn and smooth. Undoubtedly, I believe, they both reach the same destination… but certainly are a different journey and a different trail and different scenery. One is not better than another. In free will, I get to choose.

Today, I choose the smooth trail. Perhaps tomorrow I will choose the rocky trail… or it will choose me.

One, two step.

There are many people on this same trail as me; working through the same struggles. Some are alone. Some are with others. Some start out with a hiking partner, and then I see them at different paces of their steps… trail blazing alone for a short while. Sometimes I need to do that too; leave my partner behind so that I can figure out my steps on my own. Eventually, we meet back up again. A solo hike is just necessary sometimes.  

Today, I am alone on my trail. Perhaps tomorrow my hike will be with others.

One, two step.

As many times as I have hiked this trail up the mountain, I don’t think it would be possible for me to take the same step twice. Each step is new. Each step is calculated based on the obstacle before me. Yes, the rocks become familiar, but my perspective of the terrain changes. Same trail each day, but different foot placement.

Today, I step left. Perhaps tomorrow I will step right.

One, two step.

I climb higher and higher… reaching the top. My ascent is over. My reward is the perspective of the world from atop the mountain. I can see beyond each step that is before me. I can finally focus my gaze on the horizon and see all around me. This view is temporary. The descent is now before me. I must lower myself and humble myself before the trail yet again. The dance continues… me and the trail together.

Today, I ascend and descend with grace. Perhaps tomorrow the transition will be less graceful.

One, two step.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Even if it is not enough...

In my darkest of days, in the valleys of life… I wonder…

Am I doing enough as God’s beloved child to love the world?
Am I doing enough as a wife to love my husband?
Am I doing enough as a mom to love my child?
Am I doing enough as a family member to love my family?
Am I doing enough as a woman to love my fellow sisters?
Am I doing enough as a human to love all other humans?

Am I enough? Is my love enough to make a difference?

Most days, probably not.

But I am going to love, even if it is not enough.