Saturday, October 24, 2015

Raw


Raw. Like a freshly opened wound. Pruned so deeply that your soul is bleeding. So deeply, you feel your humanness as a weight tied around your heart. You want to turn away from yourself and hide from the world due to the wrath of the intense feeling. Raw. You want to numb your heart so the feeling will cease the consumption your being. But instead you choose to bravely lean into the discomfort.

Ravenous, the pruning cuts away the deepest seeded parts of your soul. One cut at a time. Raw. You feel the depth of the blade. You see the limbs falling to the ground. The limbs which no longer serve you. The limbs which pilfer the nourishment from the fruit you attempt to bear. Raw. Your humanness grieves those portions of you; while your soul rejoices the bloodletting, pruning process because it comprehends the necessity of the cut.  

Exhausted from existing in a mindful and intentional space where you respect the pruning, your emotions sit on the brim of your heart ready to spill over. Pouring into a puddle encircling your feet. Resisting the urge to gather your trimmed limbs and clutch them in place… just for a moment to feel recognizable, familiar with yourself.  Raw. Honoring the place within you that realizes the pruning is crucial to your growth. Yet, struggling to perceive yourself as a new being. Forgiving yourself for not noticing sooner how the now pruned branches were negatively influencing the world around you. Raw. Holding tribute to the shame felt from the infliction of anything but love.

Longing for the day to arrive when in place of the rawness of the prune, the buds sprout newborn growth and fresh fruits of the spirit come to bear and harvest. Pausing in expectancy… hope… faith… eagerness for what this tree will become. Trusting the Pruners discernment and precision of incision. Loving the Pruner with all of your heart, soul, strength, and mind. Raw.